Gephugwab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able wren.

Gephugwab created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gephugwab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gephugwab, he will turn you into a dog.

Gephugwab's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gephugwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed carrots to seals while wearing yellow shoes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.