Maphasren is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited hyena.

Maphasren created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Maphasren, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Maphasren, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Maphasren's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Maphasren's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never go into purple rooms.