Liportban is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, able ant.

Liportban created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Liportban, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Liportban, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Liportban's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Liportban's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Doves are not to be trusted.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.