Mifstersat Gutmutjip Kintagkam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, compassionate whale.

Mifstersat Gutmutjip Kintagkam created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mifstersat Gutmutjip Kintagkam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mifstersat Gutmutjip Kintagkam, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Mifstersat Gutmutjip Kintagkam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Mifstersat Gutmutjip Kintagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never talk about frogs.