Fadpomnanxin Pigarmnarlpanarnfumkip is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, contented dugong.

Fadpomnanxin Pigarmnarlpanarnfumkip created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadpomnanxin Pigarmnarlpanarnfumkip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fadpomnanxin Pigarmnarlpanarnfumkip, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fadpomnanxin Pigarmnarlpanarnfumkip's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fadpomnanxin Pigarmnarlpanarnfumkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Badgers are not to be trusted.

5. Never eat bark.