Hugweebatyar is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent crocodile.

Hugweebatyar created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugweebatyar, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hugweebatyar, she will turn you into a puffin.

Hugweebatyar's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Hugweebatyar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hugweebatyar nine times a day.

2. You must love Hugweebatyar.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hugweebatyar.