Hotbumloop is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, irritating turtle.

Hotbumloop created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbumloop, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hotbumloop, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Hotbumloop's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hotbumloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Feed all hungry capybaras.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.