Catgessmil is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing jackal.

Catgessmil created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Catgessmil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catgessmil, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Catgessmil's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Catgessmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Catgessmil loves eagles, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Do not kill turtles.