Gatteenjat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonourable cobra.

Gatteenjat created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatteenjat, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gatteenjat, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gatteenjat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gatteenjat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Erect five zinc sculptures of Gatteenjat on top of important buildings.

4. Always treat foxes with great respect.

5. Respect your elders.