Rilkonloopnar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, idiotic snake.

Rilkonloopnar created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilkonloopnar, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rilkonloopnar, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Rilkonloopnar's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Rilkonloopnar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Feed all hungry moths.

5. Never talk about black holes.