Gartifhon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast badger.

Gartifhon created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gartifhon, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gartifhon, he will not care.

Gartifhon's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gartifhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt horses.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about moons.

4. You must love Gartifhon.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.