Rapvadlabsan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet frog.

Rapvadlabsan created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapvadlabsan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rapvadlabsan, he will be very unhappy.

Rapvadlabsan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Rapvadlabsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide from blue horses for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.