Jopjipfubstrag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane owl.

Jopjipfubstrag created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopjipfubstrag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jopjipfubstrag, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jopjipfubstrag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Jopjipfubstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ducks.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Never talk about badgers.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never skip in holy places.