Teenboplam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong skunk.

Teenboplam created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenboplam, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teenboplam, he will not care at all.

Teenboplam's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Teenboplam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Teenboplam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.