Milbassbum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful dugong.

Milbassbum created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Milbassbum, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Milbassbum, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Milbassbum's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Milbassbum's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Milbassbum.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Put Milbassbum first in all things.

4. Run away from fawn grasshopers, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.