Hadmilpod is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, self-confident bird.

Hadmilpod created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadmilpod, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hadmilpod, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hadmilpod's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hadmilpod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hadmilpod on top of all buildings.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat corn.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never pour water over plants.