Quamdobkopmegved is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unselfish penguin.

Quamdobkopmegved created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamdobkopmegved, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quamdobkopmegved, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quamdobkopmegved's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quamdobkopmegved's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Quamdobkopmegved must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Quamdobkopmegved on top of all buildings.