Ganlikmab Satyimpib Misnegbud is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty narwhal.

Ganlikmab Satyimpib Misnegbud created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ganlikmab Satyimpib Misnegbud, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ganlikmab Satyimpib Misnegbud, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ganlikmab Satyimpib Misnegbud's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Ganlikmab Satyimpib Misnegbud's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat limes.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help bats.