Gilzanfum is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, calm mouse.

Gilzanfum created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilzanfum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gilzanfum, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gilzanfum's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gilzanfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gilzanfum.