Fumhapwikstipflan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional raccoon.

Fumhapwikstipflan created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumhapwikstipflan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fumhapwikstipflan, she will be mildly annoyed.

Fumhapwikstipflan's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fumhapwikstipflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Put Fumhapwikstipflan first in all things.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fumhapwikstipflan on top of all buildings.