Safgilciss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, egotistical wombat.

Safgilciss created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Safgilciss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Safgilciss, she will turn you into a slug.

Safgilciss' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Safgilciss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Safgilciss.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Always look after injured turtles.