Zagmidgof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witty snail.

Zagmidgof created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmidgof, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zagmidgof, he will turn you into a mole.

Zagmidgof's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Zagmidgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Zagmidgof must be the most important thing in your life.