Wanteenyim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, fussy horse.

Wanteenyim created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanteenyim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wanteenyim, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wanteenyim's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Wanteenyim's Holy Commandments

1. Wanteenyim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wanteenyim.

4. Never laugh in the presence of shrews.

5. Never eat pineapples.