Hitgepdad is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy centaur.

Hitgepdad created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitgepdad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hitgepdad, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hitgepdad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Hitgepdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Run away if five doves approach from the south.

3. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.