Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty crab.

Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tarnilhubfubbiddav Bafarm's name in vain.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never look in ponds.