Kinjipnab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic shrew.

Kinjipnab created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinjipnab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kinjipnab, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Kinjipnab's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kinjipnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Put Kinjipnab first in all things.

5. Never hurt pigs.