Panyogtik is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, charitable seal.

Panyogtik created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panyogtik, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Panyogtik, she will turn you into a hamster.

Panyogtik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Panyogtik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown seals for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.