Batyartham is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart horse.

Batyartham created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Batyartham, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Batyartham, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Batyartham's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Batyartham's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not take Batyartham's name in vain.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.