Loopyambest is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unsympathetic hippopotamus.

Loopyambest created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopyambest, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Loopyambest, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Loopyambest's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Loopyambest's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.