Mitsitsad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful crab.

Mitsitsad created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mitsitsad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mitsitsad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Mitsitsad's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Mitsitsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Run away if seven dogs approach from the south.

5. Do not listen to music.