Fatyarjan Figkam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, slow penguin.

Fatyarjan Figkam created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatyarjan Figkam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fatyarjan Figkam, she will turn you into a hamster.

Fatyarjan Figkam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fatyarjan Figkam's Holy Commandments

1. Fatyarjan Figkam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Do not take Fatyarjan Figkam's name in vain.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Never eat bark.