Figcitbad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, prudent goose.

Figcitbad created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figcitbad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Figcitbad, she will boil you in a big pot.

Figcitbad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Figcitbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Put Figcitbad first in all things.

4. Never wear turquoise dresses.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.