Cisspidlim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing chinchilla.

Cisspidlim created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cisspidlim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cisspidlim, it will turn you into a mouse.

Cisspidlim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Cisspidlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Cisspidlim loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Always wear pink.