Sawhatnurcisskemgom is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, temperamental ferret.

Sawhatnurcisskemgom created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawhatnurcisskemgom, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sawhatnurcisskemgom, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sawhatnurcisskemgom's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Sawhatnurcisskemgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Respect your elders.