Tailpibbem is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-knowing squid.

Tailpibbem created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailpibbem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tailpibbem, it will come to you in dreams.

Tailpibbem's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tailpibbem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat corn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tailpibbem.

5. Never play with disobedient children.