Bagvintaf Bassnarltan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud hedgehog.

Bagvintaf Bassnarltan created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagvintaf Bassnarltan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bagvintaf Bassnarltan, he will be very unhappy.

Bagvintaf Bassnarltan's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Bagvintaf Bassnarltan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not hurt voles.

5. Do not commit murder.