Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring mink.

Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan, he will turn you into a duck.

Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help squirrels in need.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cimfubpidfatshav Tonkfidcan.

5. Never wear cyan dresses.