Gudcemteen Larngabget is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair mole.

Gudcemteen Larngabget created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudcemteen Larngabget, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gudcemteen Larngabget, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gudcemteen Larngabget's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gudcemteen Larngabget's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of badgers.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not kill cats.

5. Never talk about galaxies.