Cabvogfad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering hummingbird.

Cabvogfad created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabvogfad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cabvogfad, he will turn you into a plant.

Cabvogfad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Cabvogfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.