Yogvedbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, slow horse.

Yogvedbaf created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Yogvedbaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yogvedbaf, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yogvedbaf's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yogvedbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat beans.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Put Yogvedbaf first in all things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never sit in the presence of squirrels.