Zanflabnell is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, fast faun.

Zanflabnell created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanflabnell, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zanflabnell, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Zanflabnell's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zanflabnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not hurt foxes.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zanflabnell.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.