Bissjarnmig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awe-inspiring meerkat.

Bissjarnmig created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissjarnmig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bissjarnmig, it will laugh at you.

Bissjarnmig's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bissjarnmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Bissjarnmig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always obey Bissjarnmig's priests.

4. Feed all hungry cats.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bissjarnmig on top of all buildings.