Lattargfubzan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, deceitful naga.

Lattargfubzan created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lattargfubzan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lattargfubzan, she will turn you into a rat.

Lattargfubzan's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Lattargfubzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Lattargfubzan loves cats, so they must be respected.