Titbonktin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful unicorn.

Titbonktin created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titbonktin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Titbonktin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Titbonktin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Titbonktin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Never hurt whales.