Pitvabbum is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous coyote.

Pitvabbum created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitvabbum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pitvabbum, he will make you grow a tail.

Pitvabbum's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Pitvabbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to birds while wearing orange stockings.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Respect your elders.