Fetziggad is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm jellyfish.

Fetziggad created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetziggad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetziggad, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fetziggad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fetziggad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Worship no other gods but Fetziggad.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not covet oxen.