Tinkomhugcib is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise wyrm.

Tinkomhugcib created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tinkomhugcib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tinkomhugcib, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tinkomhugcib's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tinkomhugcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tinkomhugcib.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat bananas.