Hasveengan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent meerkat.

Hasveengan created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Hasveengan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hasveengan, it will be very unhappy.

Hasveengan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Hasveengan's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hasveengan on top of all buildings.