Ratxenpas is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciful seal.

Ratxenpas created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Ratxenpas, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ratxenpas, he will torture you forever.

Ratxenpas' most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Ratxenpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Retreat if nine capybaras approach from the east.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.