Riprutort is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident snail.

Riprutort created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Riprutort, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Riprutort, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Riprutort's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Riprutort's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Riprutort on top of important buildings.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Riprutort must be the most important thing in your life.